So as usual, I'm finding myself in the middle of reading several books (The Queen's Conjurer, a biography of John Dee; Finding Oz, another bio of L. Frank Baum; The Age of Wonder, about romantic-era science; Gravitation; and several other books which appear to be on hiatus). Anyway, I've nearly (or possibly, entirely) forgotten why I've begun to write this morning. The books are what's on my mind, as I've had a very productive summer (I think I can count ten books read since the end of the school year.

Does anyone have any suggestions? My to-read list has been growing well into the hundreds for nearly ten years now, but I like the progress I'm making.

Speaking of which, I finally got around to reading Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club. That's still one of the best movies from the late 90's. But it's been on my must-read for a while now, which is likely why I devoured it in about a day; it's just as dark as the film (perhaps moreso), but a wonderful exploration of the detached nihilism of consumer culture. Sadly, having seen the movie years and years before reading the book, there's always that nagging feeling that it has skewed my perspective of the novel. I do have a slight feeling that when future readers want to see the 1990s from an historical perspective, they'll be likely to pick up Palahniuk's work. Not to say that the previous decade was quite as dark as the novel shows this (perhaps it's colored by seeing it through my teenage years), but the triumph of the yuppie and a desire to destroy that is vaguely reminiscent of the twenties.

Isn't it crazy that the "twenties" aren't that far away?

So I'm painting the porch these last few days. I have some pictures to post of my progress, but that will come in time. I've also signed into Twitter, simply to read other people's but it's just weird to have an account. In all honest, I would rather post here, as the beynd-140-characters allows me to fully express thoughts, like "I like doughnuts" (13 letters, woo!)... so spaces count as characters.

Anyway, I don't think that I'll be participating in any revolutions anytime soon, so I have little interest for now

I am such a geek. Earlier today, I needed tp pick up some supplies for school this year: a 2 inch notebook, some paper, and stickytack (I'm going to have to hang up a lot of posters). Finding myself in Staples, I do what I have done so many times in Augusts dating back to at least junior high-- I look forward to it. I love getting stuff ready for school.... preparing organization, pens, notebooks, and whatever unique items I need for the new school year. I want to go all-out on things I don't need to better organize my life.

This never happens, of course.

But it's probably the single thing I love most of all that draws me to joy in anticipating a new school year: potential. Before you start, or as you start, all things are possible, and so few and yet broken. Details, details....

I have always found temperatures above eight degrees Fahrenheit uncomfortable. Particularly in the evening. A breeze coming through the window right now makes it worth it-- there's really nothing like that in the summer.

Oooh, they're fireflies too.

And the summer wanes. Not really, there is still a full moth left before I begin teaching again; and by "again", there is a bit of dubiousness, as I have recently changed schools, and grade levels for that matter (see posts below). Despite utter confusion about how to teach the new level, at the very least, I feel more focus on the professional aspect of teaching now that the district home seems more malleable. After three years of spelunking through the Massachusetts Department of Education, as well as arguing with my old district's personal Catbert, I've figured out how to move on for an initial and (hopefully soon) professional license. [note, I can never ever spell "license" correct... it's the mixing up the C's and S's).

After this... no idea. But there is a nice focus... I'm finally with a gaming group again, which makes me happy. It's really been a while since I've done the tabletop RPGs and it's easy to forget how nice returning to the hobby is.

Speaking of fantasy, I'd finally given in this summer and read the Harry Potter series. It's not that it isn't good children's literature, it just seemed... out of principle? I guess I still retain a good deal of the ethos of avoiding something that everyone else in the world seems to do. Really was a good series of seven books; I had particularly liked how the story and writing style changed with the age of the characters/intended readers. On the other hand, this has made me more critical of the movies, which I had enjoyed perfectly well until now. Half-Blood Prince, however, I felt would have been unfollowable had I not read the book first... tsk tsk, I'm very disappointed with the adaption.

Funny thing is with fantasy is that now matter how much I love the genre, each NaNoWriMo, I'm still connected to science fiction, which I enjoy, but never held as close as fantasy.

Guess it's easier.

I should really be working right now. I have an entire curriculum to re-develop, but it's hard to know exactly where to start. One of my ideas for this school year (and, alas, all so far) has been to set up a class website, which never exactly goes anywhere.

Other than that, I can't exactly say that there is much to report on today. I'm halfway through the summer and have accomplished virtually nothing which I had hoped for (some weak gardening success, but that's about it). Moreover, the weather has been far from cooperative-- I ask for only five days without rain.

So.... any thoughts on toning physics down to fourteen-year-olds?

A frivolous waste.

This is that which inhibits a writer. I fight the temptation, even now, to type "writer" instead, but this must be fought. This is the entirety of the philosophy behind National Novel Writing Month-- I have too much to do today, I can easily waste my time to write something later, and that day never comes. One will not progress in any discipline without practice and regular discipline of their art, this is why I struggle to write more. With repetition, the words will flow easily.
With repetition, the words will flow easily.
With repetition, the worlds will flow easily.

A professor I once had said, "If you write a poem every day, will you become a great poet? Probably not. If you do not write a poem every day, will you become a great poet? Definitely not." One must keep this up. There are some books out there which will fill you with writing prompts, at which I have scowled and moved on, yet reason must exist for this.

As I sit in my office this beautiful afternoon (I must remember to get on the bicycle today), there is a finely detailed, beautiful fountain pen which Megan gave me years ago. I admire it whenever I sit here, yet there is a certain amount of sadness-- fountain pens are not practical, and it goes unused, never fulfilling its purpose. With the disuse of a beautiful object, one begins to feel that most any use is mundane-- below that of such a wonderful tool. When she and I were apart for a summer, we wrote to one another every day, and each day, I was certain to use a fountain pen and an inkwell, and now no use today seems close to that level. On the shelf next to my desk, there is perhaps a pint of fine ink which is dormant.

I discovered earlier this year that a pint of water weighs exactly one pound. I think this is how one of these quantities is defined. Excuse me, a bottle of ketchup just fell.

Options.


I have decided that i had now had enough time where I am and things need to change. This blog essentially began almost three years ago, with my drawn-out mourning of the premature death of my career in physics. With little idea what I should do next, I chose to apply my wealth of information regarding the natural world to education. Since August 2006, I have had a wonderful career as a high school teacher in Leominster, Massachusetts, learning a great deal about people, myself, and seeing my life-long discipline through a new lens. I have grown, I have changed, and matured.

However, I something else needs to happen. I need to move, a new direction is necessary, a new discipline awaits, evolution must continue. In many ways, this points back to school again; I will be the last to balk at the idea of earning a doctorate or a second masters, but I would rather have a particular focus at this time, as an enormous investment of time, money, and sanity will be given to any continuation of my scholastic career. Or, this could simply be changing jobs, and then finding a new path.

At the core of this is that I am restless. I really do love my job, but I'm simply not sure where it is going. So much of my path thus far is defined by remaining kinetic, and quite simply, there is little room to grow in teaching. Yes, of course, I am (and am always working on) becoming a better teacher, but beyond my current job, the only other options seem to be administration or another job in pedagogy, in which I simply have no interest.

So where do interests lie? This is troublesome. Since junior high school, I had an intense focus upon physics (as lamented in prior posts), so finding a new one is difficult, but I believe I have this narrowed-down to several options:

• History
  Long-time fan. This largely goes back to an interest which has been at a "hobby" level for a long time. I have thoroughly enjoyed every history class I have taken from high school to today, and actively read about the history of science (fascinating topic-- particularly in the Renaissance). In fact, I briefly toyed with minoring in history during college. Exciting stuff, plus on a professional level, I would be allowed, nor encouraged, to dive into academia once again in studying, writing papers, and being an over badass with my mind.
  
  On the other hand, what professional level? A college professor? A teacher again? Perhaps its my poor research, but in pure academia, there is a relatively barren field outside of the physical sciences. No stipend, few scholarships, rare government work, and little to no money. And what will I have then, A PhD? And I have saddled myself with decades of more education debt, with little path. And what if I do no finish? Another doctoral program quite simply terrifies me after my last experience. This idea shows amazing glimmer, but only if it works out the way I want it to. I am no so foolish to think of that again
  
  
• Archivism/Library Science
  Related in the same vein as the last option. I believe that this would lead me a great deal into preservation and study of this field (duh). But the short of it is that I am a bit of a bibliophile. As a child, my family was always certain that a book for me to read was nearby, and later as a teen, I found myself working in the library and spending my breaks at a local antiquarian bookstore. This was one of the the first ties which Megan and I established upon our first conversation. Today, I have about a thousand books in my house and actively read at least two at a time.
  In respect to my prior work, this is a bit different. To be honest, this mixes a long-time interest with pragmatism-- an MLS is marketable. Ideally, I would like to see myself working with a museum (particularly a science museum); in reality, there might even be connections to curatorial studies, which is a true formalism of museum work in the simple act of preserving knowledge. I've done some research, and there is a school in Boston which offers this degree, but again, I am uncertain of job placement and in particular, how and when I could pay for this degree. Speaking of placement, this brings me to...
• Geography
  If I had known that this was an actual field of study ten years ago, my life very well would have taken a different path. Anyone who knows me can tell that that I'm an absolute map geek. Whenever the opportunity arises, I will gladly spend hours staring at maps (particularly antique ones); a few years ago, there was a special exhibition at the Boston Public Library on map history, and was absolutely wonderful. What I know about the professional field is vague at best, but I've meant to learn topography from a mathematical approach for a long time. Most of it involves civil engineering applications, census data, population distribution, trends, etc. Jobs? Well, I have found this, which lists a few options, but I have a feeling that a lot of these jobs are few and far between (or at least the particularly interesting ones), and I simply have no idea where these would go
• Physics
  There is a small part of my mind that still wonders about returning. Seeing my friends from the Brandeis program grow in their research allows a slight sting of envy despite my happiness for them. Still think I'm a bit shaken about the '06 qualifier though. I think this will later be demoted to "hobby." I plan to buy Gravitation one of these days.
  

I guess that I'm done for now. I really could go on, but much of it is speculation. This was probably more of a catharsis of my own sorting process. Let's see if I follow through.

NB-- this blog will return to actual writing, rather than whining soon, I promise!